No one knows of any surefire formulas for preventing affairs. Most people are tempted at some time. Marriages can recover from affairs, but avoiding them in the first place is much less painful. To recover from an affair, you must understand what happened, what the affair partner was thinking to allow the affair to occur, and what each of you can now bring to the marriage that will improve it and prevent this from occurring again.
Tips for Preventing and Healing After Affairs
• If you have an affair, see a therapist right away. Many couples survive infidelity.
• Discuss with your partner what he thinks he would do if he or she ever felt like having an affair. Tell him you would like the two of you to talk about it.
• Discuss and set guidelines together about what is appropriate and comfortable with regard to time spent with other people both at work and socially.
• Openly discuss affairs and possible affairs and your comfort with your partner’s behavior with people outside the marriage.
• Nothing you can do absolutely guarantees that your partner won’t have an affair, so don’t worry, make a strong marriage and enjoy the life you have.
I agree with you: marriages can survive infidelity. It mostly depends on the injured party being able to forgive and the party who engaged in the affair being remorseful and realizing his or her mistake. In any case it can be a long road back to trust. Better to do your work before and keep your marriage a priority every day. Check out my maintenance agreement in my book The Gift of a Lifetime, Building a Marriage That Lasts. Therein lies the key.